Wednesday, August 19, 2009

New season

Tomorrow, Aug 20th. I will be starting a brand new season of life.

Both of my kids will be is school all day long. 8:30-3:30.
I am excited and horribly sad at the same time. My Ethan, my little boy will be in Kindergarten. I had to give up Merci years ago (I did cry), and cried some more because I had a horrible, fussy, difficult baby at home. That horrible, fussy, difficult baby is still all of those to this day, yet so kind, tender and loving at the same time. My son who is so perfect for his teachers (pre-school and sunday school) but not for his momma. A boy that kisses and hugs me more than anyone in this house. A boy that thinks I'm going to talk to the cats and play games (XBOX) all day long since I won't have him. A boy so brave and so shy. A boy who has learned to swim across the pool underwater this year. A boy who has had 7 dry nights (never before has) just to prove to his momma that he is ready to be a big boy. A boy who (again, so opposite, so extreme) loves sugar & veggies equally and nothing in between. A boy who will drink a gallon of liquids, only juice mind you a day. A boy who went white water rafting with his family and was so scared and overcame it and enjoyed himself-and would go again! A boy who drives me crazy but can make me smile like no one else can. A boy who did all he could to get the butterfly bandaid open so his mommy's arm would stop bleeding. A boy who you can find with a sword shoved down his shirt or pants at any given time. A boy who has loved the color orange since he could say the word. A boy I am going to miss so very much.

I'm loosing my baby (we don't plan to have anymore) and gaining freedom Ive longed for since he was born, and now I want to go back, to stop time, to be a better mommy, do so mnay things different. Yet I will be proud of him and his every accomplishment. And I am sure I will be ready to send him back every Monday=)

I can do this. It has been 9 years, do I know how? To be me.

3 comments:

Wendy said...

oh man...so hard!! I can't wait to hear about how his first day goes though. You will be fine Donna and will find yourself a new refreshed Mama for the kids now that you have some you time EVERY DAY!! WOO HOO!!

amy said...

donna, this is a lovely, well-written reflection. gave me a lump in my throat.

you are you and you will enjoy being just that.

love you!

Jenna said...

Donna, what a sweet tribute to your little man. What are you going to do home alone (besides the cats and XBox of course)! How exciting to have time for you again.