I sit here and wonder, What is it, that is my calling?
I envy the artistic, I envy the writers, I envy the witty, I envy the ones who can speak well
But I shouldn't envy Why is it that I do?
Isn't what God gave me good enough? Why can't I use what he gave ME?
But what is it that he gave me? I am on a search
I want and need MORE, I feel empty, yet I am full
It is this constant war and I need to keep fighting
Why give up, and let the enemy prevail?
That won't help, it will only bring more emptiness
I have so many friends, yet have none
A random call or visit is nice, but I need more
I feel like there is this big secret, that I am not liked
Why is it that he needs to ruin it all
He ruins my mothering, he ruins my spousing, he ruins my friendships, he ruins all that I enjoy
Why is it? This enemy prevails
Why is it, that with HIM we have it ALL
But we make it too complicated, we can't accept it
We are promised life abundant by HIM our God
Why can't we grasp it? Why can't we accept it?
Why do we make it difficult and attach strings
When we can have it ALL
I will run to HIM, so I can find it, the thing that I was made for
I will keep trying, I will stand when I fall, I will keep on this journey
So I can have it ALL