Well it's been a little while. Just hanging on day by day, doing the same old things. Josh is supposed to be reading the book Waking the Dead for his class at church...and he hasn't been. It has just been laying around, so I picked it up and started to read it. I really like it so far. The first chapter is about how we as Christians are at WAR!! Does that not explain everything?? We are at war in everything we do. God loves us and has so much for us, but unfortunately we have to fight for it. So fight is what I am going to do!
After I read the first chapter I was laying in by bed and I was just praying... I think I was praying that I would just HEAR God speak to me. Let me just confess I have a horrible problem with too much peacefulness when I pray. I tend to fall asleep a lot when I pray. And let me add one more thing yesterday I was so "busy" cleaning and getting this house under control, that I didn't spend any time with God or with my little Ethan. I just went about doing what I had to do. God spoke to me and said, "Why would you want to be so busy cleaning and taking care of stupid stuff instead of resting in my Peace." HMMMMMM! Yeah why would I?? Well anyway. I was praying to hear God and that I would spend more time with Him. I fell asleep and like 2 minutes later was abruptly awoke by...the heater going on..and a booming voice saying "You will hear my voice" and boy did I hear it! So it is good to know God is speaking. I just need to take time to hear Him.
After last week when Kenny had us write down some things to give to God this season and to just have him be our foundation. I have been striving to do so. Let me share with you one thing I wrote down.
Let me love Josh's family as I would my own.
I think ( I hope..just so I am not the only one) a lot of us have trouble loving our spouses family.
I have trouble with this a lot. I do love them and care for them...but do I show it or act like it. No I complain..especially around holidays. Oh we have to go so many places, your family does stuff so differently than mine, blah blah. Well within hours God gave me a chance to do this. We went to the Schuster's for our monthly family dinner. Well Josh's Grandma was feeling pretty sick,s o she didn't come. Later in the day she called wondering why nobody called her to let her know they missed her. I felt really bad because we all go about our lives not really caring that she is old and lives alone and needs some companionship sometimes. I immediately felt like I should go see her in the morning since she lives right by Merci's school. Now I don't usually just go visit my husbands Grandma. I don't feel like I even know her very well. I was kind of nervous. I went and bought her some Italian Wedding soup..which I know she likes from a trip to a restaurant one time. I also got her a fresh roll and some OJ. Some nice comfort foods when you are sick! Well I went over there and she wasn't very well at all, but she was still doing her laundry, pressing her clothes etc. She looked very sick and you could tell she was very weak. Did I say she is in her late 80's?? I felt so bad, but everything I offered to do she wouldn't let me. Stubborn old people..no offense to anyone. Well I just sat and talked to her for awhile, and I hugged her and very truly felt love for her. I offered to help her with ANYTHING even when she wasn't sick and I think this made her day. Not that she will ever let me help, but it is the thought that counts. She called the next day sounding soooo much better. I would like to think that my love for her made her all better!
I love you Jesus! Keep working on me. I am not giving up this race!
5 comments:
Donna, your post made me cry! You have such a good heart, and I know God will answer those prayers you're praying!
Donna, I really appreciate this post. I love what you did for Josh's Grandma. You gave her just what she needed, some attention. Thank you for doing that. Jesus gave us a new commandment, that we should love each other. That is not a feeling we are supposed to have, but something we are supposed to do. And you did it. Remember that wherever you go, you shed abroad the light that God has given you, and you are a blessing to Josh's family. They need what you bring to the dynamics of the family.
wow. thanks for letting us in on your vulnerable quest after Jesus and loving Him and others. i just feel that God is so pleased with you. and that He is overwhelmed with love towards you and truly touched by your sincere heart towards Him. keep going, girl. you are so beautiful and awesome to Him.
My pastor used to say "feelings follow actions". I've found that to be true in so many circumstances.
Try to get Josh back into "Waking the Dead"...it's a very good book.
Anyway, I have put a lot of effort into getting along with Kelly's family because they are so important to her (she goes to hang out with her mom twice a week). I feel like I have been successful and that they all accept me.
I wish I could get Kelly to do a little bit of that same thing towards my family. It's pulling teeth when I want to spend a holiday at the Moran's. I also know that I am only paranoid...but it feels like resentment and disdain.
Anyway, I think many married couples can understand what you mean when you say that it can be hard to love your spouses family.
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