I have a dilemma... Many of my friends and family are choosing to homeschool their kids. In all honesty I really think that I would enjoy it. As a kid I wanted to be a teacher and may even pursue that route for a future career (not sure yet). My problem is this: I really believe Merci and I would butt heads too much, Merci is a very independent child, Merci is very outgoing and loves to be around people. I think school is good for her. We have Merci in a very small carter school, which I feel very safe with. I am not sure I would be ok with a public school..in this area anyway. Private schools are way to expensive for our budget and I even think homeschooling would be a bit too expensive for us.
Don't get me wrong I really love the ideas and beliefs behind homeschooling, but in the same way I don't. I feel like because I am a Christian mom I have to conform to all the other Christian moms. I know no one expects that of me, but it is how I feel. Do you ever feel like that?
The reason for my rant is to get some people to let me know that it is ok for me to put my kids in school. I need to know that homeschool parents aren't superior to parents who put their kids in school. I have overheard so many homeschool parents talking to other homeschool moms and most of the time I feel like that IS the way they feel (that it's homeschool or nothing). I know that if I work hard enough I can raise a perfectly respectable child who loves the lord while attending a school.
This is definitely NOT to say that all homeschooler act like this, because I know plenty who don't. If Josh and I feel at anytime the Lord saying HOMESCHOOL we would. But here is another dilemma...What if I feel like I can homeschool Ethan in the future?? Is that horrible to homeschool one and not the other??
I know that some of you who read this were homeschooled, so who homeschool now, and some who have previously homeschooled..please give me your thoughts and insights. I would love to know. Tell your friend to read this post I really want LOTS of insight.
17 comments:
I too have debated this same thing! Beau and Leah are so close in age I have been thinking, with past experience of teachers already from my oldest 2 daughters not being the greatest in public schools..."Can I homeschool the last 2, but not the 1st 2?" Or is that unfair? Let me know what you decide. I email you some info I got from a friend on homeschooling.
homeschooling is a great topic to get some controversial feedback on...i've used it for a debate topic in a college class...anyway, i personally think schooling can definitely be different for different kids. kids have different personalities....i also think its your choice being the parent, but its also your kids' choice too.....its their lives.....do they have a preference??? my experiences for what they may be worth: my mom did not homeschool me, but did for ben for the first few years b/c he had a speech impediment as a child. then i wanted to be homeschooled in 3rd grade b/c i was having a bad experience at school, and it looked like my mom and ben had so much fun. then ben went into school, and i stayed homeschooled til junior high. and my sister NEVER wanted to be homeschooled, whe she turned 5, she told my mom she really wanted to go to school. and so being the social butterfly that she is, my mom thought it was a good choice. and joy was never homeschooled, but ben and i were. ben was for 2 years and i was for 4 years. to this day, i appreciate that my mom and dad took each of us as individual cases, and really prayed about the right decision. my mom says she fasted and prayed about each of our school decicisons and she felt the Lord lead her. it IS a big deal and may the Lord lead you and Josh as you wrestle with it!!
Donna - ironically I was stopping by to ask who Merci got for 1st Grade. Derek got Mrs. Nagy - YEA...and Ellie has a new teacher...Mr. Kessler?
This year we decided, for the very first time, to let Brandon and Madison attend the Public Middle School...a little scary - but we feel at peace about it and see this as an opportunity for them to grow in their own FAITH and learn to walk in it.
Interestingly enough, because of Madison's reading disability - I even considered homeschooling her again...
That all being said, I think how we educate our children does have to have a lot of thought and prayer behind it - even on a year to year basis - and actually, even on a child to child basis.
Having homeschooled three of my children at one time - and more recently teaching Derek basically Kindergarten....I can say with conviction that each child is truly unique. Each one of them learns differently and each one has different social needs.
It is sad that even in the Christian community we put pressure on one another to all walk with the same convictions and passions re: homeschooling/educating our kids.
I do not think this honors the Lord.
I do not believe ALL Christian families are called to homeschool. I do not think it is possible for all Christian children to attend Private School either. And I do not think it is ungodly/impossible for our children to attend Public School.
We have experienced both homeschooling and the charter school and we are now venturing into the Public System....all situations have positive and negative aspects attached to them. And I truly believe God works all things to the good of those who LOVE HIM!
Saying that, I can also say that even though I really enjoyed homeschooling (most days), I can tell you that I did NOT have all the tools/education I needed to truly help my one daughter succeed. And sometimes I felt like I failed her because I was not always as patient with her "learning" needs. While the other children really "took" to me being their teacher.
BTW, I know of families where certain children have been homeschooled all the way through, while other siblings have attended a more traditional "school". And I don't believe it is wrong to do this. Again, this was based on the fact that each child is UNIQUE and has UNIQUE needs. So, be open to what God is telling you for each child - and know that from year to year it may change too?!
Thanks for all the advice!
Kimber
Merci is going to a different school this year...same school system just closer=) She has a really nice teacher=)
I am glad Derek got Mrs Nagy!
one is NOT superior or more holy than the other.
i'm a big fan of public education anyways. i went for all 12 years, kept my convictions, and am now teaching there!
every situation is unique. i think it could be wrong to make a blanket statement saying that you are going to do one thing or the other with ALL your kids. you never know what's up ahead or what will be best for that child.
ps: even if you feel that homeschool isn't for you - you can still teach! i don't think i'll homeschool - but i won't say for sure so as to not contradict my last point : )
I was homeschooled all of high school for health reasons and it was a good experience. BUT It was definately a battle daily between my mom and I... very straining on our relationship. I have thought about homeschooling our children one day but really don't think I ever would unless I had too. Like you said socialization is so important especially at a young age... BUT at the same time being a teacher and hearing what kids know and say 'these days' is scary. But in the mix of these kids there are also many little lights shining that talk about Jesus's love. We just have to prepare and raise our kids to be the little lights. Don't feel pressured... it is a person decision. What is good for one kid may not be good for another.
we want to homeschool.. and ive always thought id love to... but the older caleb gets... the more I question it lol.
I just dont know if I have the patients.
I mean maybe it be good for me... and help me to learn patients...
I think homeschooling can benefit the child a lot.
working w/ teens in youth ministry fulltime we have really seen a lot of trama kids go through at a young age in public school... and its scary to us to think that Caleb or our other kids may have to deal w/ certain issues to early.
with the way this world is going i cant even begin to imagine what high school or even k-6th grade will be like for our kids...
but then again i mean if you teach your children... and talk to them openly about issues they face it may not be a problem.
its hard though.
i told travis i do not want to home school if we stay in this house... because there is just no place to teach. i want a seperate room strickly for schooling... i dont want all the teaching stuff in our living room or kitchen.
so we got a few years :-) then will see!
ps~ travis 3 neices are home schooled.. and i must be honest. our of all our students back in NC the oldest of these neices was smarter than the majority of our students that went to public school.
i think it would be perfectly acceptable to homeschool one child and not the other. and i couldn't agree more with amy who said that it is ok to want to teach but not want to homeschool. i can see the benefits of homeschool, but there are also a lot of benefits of sending your kids to a public school, too. and mixing 'work' and family can be a highly stessful thing. you and Merci sound like you both are helped by having a break from each other. and kids/teachers at school can say things (advice/correction) to her that she will never really 'hear' from you.
i love the Lord and i love children, but i do not think that i would ever homeschool... it just isn't something that i would have any patience for... that doesn't make me a bad person, i just know what gifts, talents, and strengths i have... and which i don't ;)
good luck with your decision! you'll do great!!! the most important thing that you can ever teach your child is that you love them and that God loves them more. and they don't need to be homeschooled to learn that :)
p.s. i have a lot of respect for people who do homeschool (my sister being one of them). i didn't want my last comment to sound like i think homeschooling is a bad thing. it just isn't for everyone...
As a homeschooling friend of yours, I just want to say I am confident you will make the right decision for each of your kids. It is so evident that you love them and want the best for them. It is evident you love God and want to follow His plan for your family. It's easier said than done, I know, but try to forget about what "everyone else thinks" and just do what's best for your family. That might mean sending your kids to school. That might mean homeschooling just one of them. They are YOUR kids, YOUR responsibility. No one knows them the way YOU and Josh do. No one can make those decisions for you. It is a very personal decision, and I think it's sad that there are parts of the Christian community who would pass judgement on parents who sends their child to school.
You just keep seeking God, do the best you can with the knowledge you have, and trust that His LOVE and GRACE will cover you and your children in whatever circumstance you find yourself in.
P.s. It is very freeing to know that any decision is not permanent! You can change your mind at any time, even halfway through the school year. This goes for pulling kids out of school, putting them in school, changing homeschool curriculum, etc!
Oh, I can so relate!! I was going to homeschool my kids, but have since changed my mind. We're more than likely going to send them to a Christian private school. Merci sounds a lot like my Stephen. I recently put him in a pre-school and he loves it. He's doing very well and loves interacting with other kids. Homeschooling is great if you can handle it. I can't, and I'm not ashamed to admit that. We're not all wired the same. I need a break from the kids just as they need one from me. My point?? Every kid is different...some might do better at home, others might do better at public school and others might do better at a private school. No single answer is the correct one for every child. Don't give in to pressure on either end, pray and seek God for the answer that's right for your family. God will surely lead you in the right direction. You're a great mother and a wonderful Christian!
wow lots of insightful thoughts here, donna. i just wanted to say that i told my mom about your post, and she said if u ever wanna talk to her about any of this, feel free. :)
I totally agree with Autumn's post. What ever way God's directs your heart for your family, is the way you should go.
Obedience to God’s voice is the one that should matter the most; then you should be in agreement with your spouse, then you can ask your children if you think they will say “I want what is best and I think that would be…”, instead of just wanting what is the funnest to do at the time.
Each person needs to be handled differently when they are young and when they are old. We all learn differently and some methods work better than others, but Proverbs 22:6 says to Train a child in the way he should go….. not how you learned, not how another family does it, but training designed uniquely to that child.
There is no one answer that fits-all in how-to-do these things but I'm sure there are seasons we will all continue to live and grow in, or re-visit until we grow up in.
We will all need to continue to learn, change and grow for the rest of our lives.
As the old proverb goes, “give a man a fish and feed him for a day, teach him to fish and feed him for a lifetime”.
Your greatest goal should be to teach them, not give them - encourage your children to learn, show them where and how to find the right answers, how to think things through and then how to choose to do the right thing, even when it is very hard to do.
One benefit of smaller public classes is that it allows for a child to meet and relate to previously unknown adults & children from different backgrounds. It also teaches children about learning from and working with others that are not part of your family. Groups or classes are also a good place to hear things that you don't understand or that differ from what you are taught; and learning how to discuss these things with your parents (keep the communication lines open) learning to make decisions on your own, how to base decisions on God's Word and not take everything other people say as truth but in learning how to discern what is right, for yourself. Something that will be needed with increased intensity, as you go through this life.
No matter where they learn their ABCs & 123s, they need to learn about Jesus, love, morality, respect for others and what the bible teaches from the example they see in their parents. You are great parents - keep up the good work - love,AuntMarsha
Hello, I am one of Autumn's aunts who lives in Little Rock. I am the mother of 5 children, 3 of which are in school. As someone once told me and I often repeat, "God is sovereign over public schools, too!" :) I attend a church that many would say is very much pro homeschooling. The majority of children are homeschooled. Ultimately, you and your husband have to have discernment in the Lord's leading to what education you will have for your children. DO NOT be guilted into homeschooling just because someone else says it it the best choice. It may be the best choice for them but not for you and your family. I often wrestle with the decision to not homeschool my children but I know it is the only choice for my and my family. And yes, it is OK to homeschool one child and not the other. I hope this is encouraging. It is certainly meant to be. God bless you and I pray GOd would grant you and your husband great wisdom in this decision.
I know I'm late commenting on this, but just wanted to encourage you that (in my opinion) it's the good parents who don't feel that each child needs to be eduacated in the same way. I think it is terrific when each child's needs are evaluated and taken into consideration. All the best!
Hi, I pulled my two out of public school when the youngest was in 4th grade and the oldest was in 6th. We have had a great time. My oldest started college at 16. If you are interested in learning more about homeschooling visit the Homeschool Cafe http://homeschoolcafe.blogspot.com/ or my blog Home~Schoolers Rule.
I know a couple of homeschool families where one child is in public school for one reason or another. I think both you and the child have to want to homeschool for it to work. If the child wants to go to public school then they won't cooperate with you and your life will be miserable. I was lucky both my boys wanted to be homeschooled.
Hi Donna,
Wow, you got a lot of feedback on this one! I just wanted to tell you my experience with school. I guess I probably had a similar experience to Amy, in that I am also a fan of public schools. I personally started in a Christian school for K-4th grade, then went to public school for 5th & 6th, then my parents freaked out about public junior high and put me in a Catholic school for 7th & 8th grade, then when I begged to go back to public school (where I received the BEST education of all the schools) and they let me go to public high school. Based on my experience with all the schools, my sisters attended public schools for the duration, and they didn't have to deal with making new friends every two years like I did for a while, and they did great. They had more opportunities than I did (like with sports, music, arts, and home economics) in the public school system, and to this day, I WISH I could've stayed in public schools from the time I started there in 5th grade. The teachers were better, my mind was more stimulated (aka I wasn't as bored as I was in private schools), and I never had trouble with the things parents worry about like drugs, alcohol and sex. In fact, those three things were worse in the Catholic school I went to, but then again, it could've been the age (7th & 8th grade). So, that's my personal experience, but I ALWAYS support any decision a parent makes for their child, because like everyone has said, each child is unique, and YOU know them best! I know you & Josh will do whatever is best for Merci and Ethan!
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