They are back and so are my thoughts

The kids are back in school, and now I have time to think, to ponder, to get my priorities in order.
So many thoughts running through my head about so many things.

#1 What am I to do with my life...??? Work, school, stay at home, volunteer...WHAT??
#2 I want to be a better mom and wife...what does this look like??
#3 What schedule works for getting the housework, business work, finances, couponing etc all done?
#4 How do I get this dog to stop chewing, pottying etc??


The biggest thing I am pondering is what plans the Lord has for me. Am I supposed to work so I can contribute financially, and possibly even carry health insurance. What will I do if I decide to work -retail work (have lots of experience with that), random job, waitressing ( no experience), healthcare medical jobs (lots of demand, no experience or degree, and live right by a hospital)....UGH...I have no idea. Maybe the best choice is to go finish some kind of degree and possibly substitute teach next year or so. I really have no clue and no direction.

So many decisions, such hard decisions, BLAH.

I'm sure I will figure something out. You can say a prayer for me, I'm sure that would help.
I'm ok with all of this, just thinking out loud, getting some of these thought out there and out of my head and possible looking for some wisdom!

Goodnight.

Need to write...

One more full day and then the kids go back to school (E 1st grade, M 5th). For awhile I was feeling like I wasn't ready, but the reality is I AM READY, but THEY ARE TOO. They need some structure, they have had enough doing whatever, whenever, ya know?? And I know I am right because last Friday we went to the pool with some friends for the last time this Summer, and they sat there at our feet, whining that they were bored, or hungry....and we had just been out to eat 10 minutes before that....they didn't even recognize fun right in front of there faces.

Today was a stressful day, E is a hard child, whinny, always negative, never happy with what he has, and boy does that start wearing on you after awhile. Because we let the kids have a sleepover in E's room last night, they were up late and up super early...so of course he was super crabby today. I am mentally and emotionally exhausted.

Then there is Merci, the back talking, never shutting up pre-teen. OH MY.

Love them both so much, but goodness I need a break, and so do they. Not sure how they put up with me always getting them to do stuff and yelling, and loosing my temper...etc, etc....I KNOW I am not perfect as a mom.

Tonight I had the kids do some work, Merci has a work book we were working through this Summer and E had a packet he needed to finish over the Summer. With a little resistance, we did get some stuff done and Ethan was super interested in doing his, hmmmm...he must be ready to get his little brain working again!

So for so many reasons I am glad school starts on Wednesday! I will miss them but am determined to be MOM and only MOM when they get home...since I will have the whole day to myself.

Good night!