Falling by the wayside

Dear Blog,

You keep falling by the wayside, forgotten, not remembered. How does it feel??

It feels very sad to me, because I am going to come back looking for memories and I will find none. Another school year is almost over, did I even update about any of it, besides the first day?? Gosh, I am a slacker. I feel like this whole year has been a waste ::SMH:: So many things I wanted to do, and none got done. I had many more rooms to paint and all I painted was the front door. I didn't even paint the back to match or install any door plates. I feel like I have wasted my days beyond belief. I hope I did some meaningful stuff, but at the moment I cannot even remember. I'll be back soon with an update of Ethan's new bed, maybe Nate and Mary's wedding and the end of school year pics compared to the 1st day (I have to at least do that).

It is past my bedtime so off I go! I plan on being back sooner rather than later. Goodnight dear blog, goodnight.

Signs

Spring is right around the corner! Super excited, just VERY ready for the season to really change and stop teasing us. As we drive around we see signs all around. Green shoots popping up, the grass is definitely getting greener, especially from all this rain, people outside, feather flags announcing all the vacant apartments for rent, a few flowers, trees with buds everywhere, ahhhh lovely!

Easter is around the corner. School will be over in less than 3 months. I can go on and on, I am super excited!

Just in case you wanted to know:)

Dreaming

It seems I sit here and dream so much. Yet it seems like those dreams keep getting pushed away. All of them. I am so grateful for all I have, don't get me wrong. Things aren't peaches and cream but things aren't disastrous either. I know so many people have it worse than me. But how long can one wait for the dreams that have been put in their heart?? Some people can look at me and say I have what they want. I have 2 healthy, beautiful children, a 10+ year marriage that is pretty good (we all have little things to work on, so I cant say its perfect, we are happy and in love and that is the main thing). . My dream right now it to make a difference, to be someone and feel like I have accomplished something more than getting through each day.

Do you understand? I don't know if I do really. =)

I want to adopt. I want a new kitchen (the white floors, the white cabinets and 10 inches of counter space drive me to insanity daily). I want to go on a nice vacation. I want to know how to be a better mom and wife, because I'm sick of failing daily.

I have so many friendships I want to make better, but seem like I keep getting pushed away from those as well. Am I the only one with time for others??

I guess I'm just in one of those depressed places in life. I'm sure it wont last long. I know I will be fine, just need to get stuff out and then the feeling better starts.

Im there...

I'm 30. I am almost 1 week past being 30, you wait for the moment, maybe cringe, maybe look forward to, then it is done and past before you know it! My birthday weekend was GREAT. I just wish the fun could have lasted longer, but atlas, you need to move on from the celebrating and get on with life.

Still pondering whether I will get a job or not. Being turned down is a hard pill to swallow. I know that just because one bitchy lady didn't like me doesn't mean the rest of the world wont love me. Trying to decide what I really want to do. I don't want a career but I don't just want a job either. The American Red Cross trains for LPNs through a free program, so I might just look into that to see if it is something I like, nursing has always been in the back of my head, but the excuse of blood freaks me out, always come tot he front of my head. Maybe I should try LPN, and go from there, maybe I will see I can do medical stuff (and maybe I can wear a cute nursing uniforms...haha)...and maybe it will confirm I can't. And I know LPN's don't do a ton, but maybe that is just perfect for me...who knows...what can free training hurt??

Off to get ready for a lunch with a blog friend, how fun??? We celebrate birthdays very close to one another! And I cannot wait to see this beautiful woman who has lost a ton of weight since last time I saw her (a year ago sadly)...YEAH YOU!!! ;)

Fun Day

Went out to a mall so a friend could use her groupon that expires tomorrow...none of those stores around here=( Went to PF Changs for the first time, yummy! Kids were great after school, got some laundry put away, grabbed some chicken noodle soup out of the freezer thawed it, finished some stuff for the shower on Saturday. Got ready and now I am heading out to Paninis (yep the one that hasn't called me back for a job...boo) for girls night with the SIL's.

All in all an easy day!

YEAH!

::ALL the time::

God is good all the time!! Even when you think you have nowhere to go and no one cares, He shows up. We own a small business and we are all dried up for jobs and all dried up in finances....like don't know how we will buy food or pay bills next week (we don't use credit card, we have a few that are getting paid off and NOT being used). BUT God showed up in the nick of time. Josh happened to call a friend about a new church he was part of and ended up getting an offer to go work with his company on a big project for a week or so. WOOHOO. Oh yeah, and making more money than we would with our business. And when this jobs is done we will be closer to Spring and working weather (the last few weeks have been so cold and icy and snowy working on roofs is not an option).

So, things will be pretty tight for a month or so but after that, it should be smooth sailing. God willing! Oh and we are crossing our fingers for some kind of return from our taxes...and there is a big mistake from last year that will get amended...which could be a really nice amount of $...Here's HOPING!!!

Mounting

The pressure is mounting as the days get closer to Christmas.
Will I have enough $ to get everything I need?
Will I get everything done that I want to do?
Will I get a chance to be an example of how I want my kids to see Christmas?

I already feel the rush, rush and I want to slow down.
I try to get my running done when the kids are at school, but I also need to get stuff done around here.
Maybe it has just been a stressful week with 2 Christmas concerts, our regular obligations and Josh's grandma not doing well.

Hopefully I will get a chance to breathe sometime soon...like in 10 minutes when I pop in a movie for myself!

I wish things were easy and that I could just click here and it all be ok! But since that is not likely I will just take deep breaths and remember the reason (JESUS) for the season!

Not bad

Like I mentioned before, I was hoping to get back into things at the gym. I did!! Monday morning!
I'm still sore, Thursday=) Also yesterday a friend and I walked about 2.5 miles or so...even though it was in the 30s and we had a tiny bit of snow flurries. We are good like that=)
For those of you body builders, I found a site that compares different creatine powder. Just in case you were wondering;)

Besides getting a few workouts in, it has been a crazy week.
Monday we found out that Josh's grandma is going downhill quickly. 2 weeks ago she was walking around with her walker and now she is in bed not moving and barely responding to things. She is 93. We were very blessed to be able to spend Thanksgiving with her and even get a whole huge family picture with everyone in it!
Tuesday the kids go to Awana, so Josh and I got a hour to spend together, we hit a strip of store and got some Christmas gifts!
Wednesday I walked with my friend, shopped, had lunch and watched Biggest Loser at her house, the shopped some more and then Merci has a Christmas concert for band. She started playing trumpet (actually a coronet) at the beginning of the year. She did great!!

Tonight is Ethan Christmas concert, and we get to sit through K-4th singing songs all night...Merci will also play her trumpet again!

:SIGH::

I'm ready for an easy weekend!

FULL

I am sure feeling Thanksgiving. I feel so icky. My belly has been full since Thursday.

Besides that it was a fun weekend here! We hosted Thanksgiving for my family, then on Friday we went to the Rainforest with my cousins, then we went back to their hotel to swim! That evening we got together with extended family at the Winking Lizard, Saturday we had ice skating lessons and then we put up our Christmas tree and worked on Merci's science fair display board. Today we went to church and did some shopping and then came home to play our new Wii game.
I am determined to get back to the gym tomorrow...it has been weeks, sadly. But instead of giving up, I'm going to start again. Especially since the Christmas season has begun there will be many get togethers and parties on the horizon! So I definitely don't want to be disappointed by the scale, and I definitely want to be able to find something cute to wear!

I'm not looking for best muscle building supplements or anything. Just to loose a little bit of pounds or at least stay the same weight but see a different shape! You know how it goes.
Plus my brother is getting married in April so I gotta be looking good!!
Ethan and Josh got fitted for their tux's today and I cannot wait to see my handsome boy in April!

Hope your Thanksgiving was great!

Last minute...

We are such last minute people. My husband and I are both procrastinators...not good to have 2 of those in a marriage! But we figure it out somehow!

Last year we hosted Thanksgiving for the first time. We had grand plans to make a TV room in our basement, so of course it didn't get finished till hours before family got here...ugh...and there is STILL molding and stuff that needs to be done.

And just recently did we replace the light bulb in our bathroom fan above the shower...its only been 8 months or so.

Tonight was another get stuff done night, the middle rail on our bed frame was broke, and we felt like it was really making a difference in how we slept, so finally after a few month hubby fixed it for good...that was the easy project of the night...the other one included lots of water all over the place...not good, but it is all better now, so I wont get into it.

Now I am just waiting for Josh to get out of the shower so we can watch House!
I need it after the 2 hours of 5th grade math I had to teach to my daughter...UGH.

A surprise??

I know I mentioned in my last post that next Thursday my husband and I celebrate 10 years of marriage. I did say we weren't going on vacation, but I am thinking about surprising him with a one or two night stay at this great getaway area around here. We've been there once, but I should really check some places out to see if they are available...hmmmm....

The cabin we went to years ago was beautiful, overlooked the woods, which is perfect right about now with some beautiful colors left but some bare trees as well. We had a hot tub on the porch and got to relax in it while it was snowing, now that was cool! The cabin was big, had a great kitchen and we cooked meals together, snuggles on the beautiful cabin furniture while watching a movie in front of the fireplace. There were great paths to walk nearby with waterfalls and caves and also some great antique shops to browse.

I think I just talked myself into checking some availabilities=) Ssshhh don't tell.
Watch...he will check my blog today for the first time in years;)

Thinking about trying

Hey, I have been thinking about trying a colon cleanser...have you done one? Naturally? with pills? Help!

I may need a basic one to start off with, is there such a thing? A basic short one?? I need to start small, but think this might really help me
(I think I will get hubby to do it with me!)

Great way to enter our 1oth year of marriage together...lol (ONLY 1 more week until 10 years!!!)
Sadly we wont be going on vacation right now, probably at the beginning of the year, or maybe not, but looking like we have a big job coming then, so hopefully we can splurge (I will also be turning 30 in March so we can do a double celebration!)
Our passports are ready whenever God tells us we can spend the money!!

So really...What colon cleanse have you used? What were the results??

The cold is here...

It has been pretty cold here the last few days, and supposedly snow will be here this weekend ::gulp:: I hate to say it. Yesterday morning I even had to go start the car to get all the frost off the windows-our 2 car garage is filled with my husbands business equipment=(

The cold makes me want to hibernate, we have not been waking up in a timely fashion (it is extremely hard to get out of a warm bed when it is till dark out), I am unmotivated till later in the afternoon-which means I have not been making it to the gym (and when it was too hot out that was my excuses...excuses, excuses, know!)

I think I need to just get up and dressed and not take the kids to school in PJ's ::gulp:: and head straight for the gym, I don't want to do the lazy persons diet (www.fatburnersforwomen.org) and be all bummed when I am not seeing results since I am too lazy to go work out for 30 minutes or so...such a never ending cycle...but I will beat it...I WILL.

How do you get motivated to wake up in the morning? Is waking up at the last minute better or forcing yourself to get up a bit early at the same time daily?? What is your magic secret??

UGH....

This middle school thing is killing me. Surprisingly it isn't even the attitude...much...a little bit, but not much. It is the shift in work load. Merci gets an hour study hall at the end of the day, so the amount of homework she brings home is super minimal, but I feel like the amount of knowledge and responsibility is what has changed. Merci is a lot of things, bright, beautiful, loving, dramatic, but responsible is not of the the things she IS. We really are trying to work with her on this. We talk through it with her, giver her examples, explain to her that she needs to work toward her freedom as a teenager NOW. She just IS NOT getting it...I want to like, SCREAM through a microphone and then, maybe THEN she will hear us and understand??? Maybe???

Funny (a little exasperating, but funny) story. Tonight we sat down to study her Social Studies from her study guide that she should have filled out straight from her book...there were some very sketchy answers...but my favorite was: dam-is a bad word....lol...oh boy, we have a long road ahead of us with this one.

Per Ethan

As we stepped out of the car this morning at school Ethan enthusiastically commented "This is the perfect day." Meaning the weather! We are still seeing a bit of Indian Summer, it is windy but a comfortable 65 degrees, or so.

As soon as I finish up work in the office I will be heading out to enjoy the "Perfect Day" I think I'll take my pup for a walk! I love her.

Last week we weren't so lucky...It was COLD...we even saw some overnight frosts, and I was out one night in sleet...ick, way to close to snow for my liking.

Josh and I were walking into a coffee shop that happened to be right next to a tanning salon. Boy did it make me want to get my tanning bed lotion out and escape into fake sunshine for 15 minutes or so. I think I may go back to tanning this winter...just for some vitamin D. Ya know?? or maybe a financial miracle will happen and we can REALLY go on that honeymoon we have been waiting for for the past 10 years (Nov 11...we have our passports and are just waiting to find the perfect priced vacation, hopefully in Nov, but we might have to wait a bit longer).

::heart:: blogging

I am not a fan of winter...love Fall and the pretty colors, smells, Indian Summer etc...but then winter is right around the corner. It is getting cold here in Ohio. Time to turn the furnace up and get out all the warm fuzzy clothes, socks and blankets.

The other night I took my laptop to the basement with me (I'm usually too lazy to get the laptop up...the desk top is always on on right there) and I remembered that I love snuggling on the couch with my hubby, blankets and the laptop-because it keeps me WARM=) So I just sat there the other night with the laptop open and running on my lap as I watched TV...how silly! But warm!

I guess I'm excited to get this blog back to speed and start adding pictures and milestones etc. I know if I don't I will miss looking back and seeing our family grow and change. I also like finidng new blogs like...glucomannan and other mom blogs, couponing blogs etc. But right now my focus is on health and nutrition, so I like to read what I can about that and implement little things here and there...

Any good blog suggestions for my reader for this winter??

Wisdom Teeth

Because facebook is so easy to use, I tend to forget about you dear old blog.

Last Wednesday I got my 2 bottom wisdom teeth removed. They were impacted. I was asleep. Today was day 4 post surgery and I am mostly fine. Tiny bit of stiffness and soreness, but nothing ibuprofen couldn't help! I never even had to take the Vicodin, which I am glad cuz I took it with my kidney stone and it made me feel super sick.

I am super blessed to have recovered well without any complications...yet anyway, but I am sure I will be fine. Ready for a new week, back to almost normal. Looking forward to hearing from manager at Starbucks as well!

Talk soon dear blog.

Being a mommy has taught me much

I was 19 when I became a mom. I was 19 when I married the love of my life. Which means in 5 weeks we will have been married for 10 years. I'm sure ill be talking about that more, but right now I want to talk about what I've learned in being a mom...which obviously I cannot list everything...but I'll list some.

I've learned that things don't always go as planned, I list that first because it WAS probably really one of the first things I learned. I expected I'd have a boy...only 2 girls out of the 11 kids b/w our 2 families...I had a girl...the midwives and I expected she'd come before her due date, she came 4 days late! And from then on nothing went the way I expected...all us moms learn that pretty quickly.

I learned that my love of shoes (converse, wingtips, dress shoes, pf flyers shoes-you name it I had it) and shopping, needed to take a backseat to shopping for my sweet little girl who had no clothes and shoes and had a real need fro them, unlike me. I learned quickly to be unselfish, since our money situation was tight only necessities would do.

I've learned that the little moments count, more that the big!

I've learned that a sense of humor goes a long way.

I've learned that being a mother is a HUGER than huge responsibility, I'm realizing daily what a HUGE job this is and realizing daily more and more things I am responsible for.

I've learned that a mothers job is NEVER done.

I've learned that there are many things I need to grow in.

That's all for now, but not nearly all that I've learned

Hmmm...is it true??

Daily we hear about new ways to loose weight or new food that are good/bad for us. It is overwhelming to say the least. Today it is the Top 10 fat burning foods, tomorrow it is the No carbs diet that disses those Top 10 fat burning foods. There is so much pressure on us as a society to be healthy, to loose weight, to look good etc, but then every time we turn around there is a new fast food restaurant going up...I swear they will not stop until there is one on every other corner...

I'm just so sick of hearing about it you know? I need to loose weight...I look fat...does this make my butt look too big etc...

Do it for yourself, and not for others.

I love hearing the success stories, I don't like hearing the whining that goes along with it. And believe me, I do some of that whining. I have a blogger friend who is doing it! She has lost about 20 pounds, and it is just from better choices in her eating, not a strict diet, not a gym rat, just little by little and boy is it refreshing to hear her successes! She wants to feel comfortable in her skin, she doesn't want to deprive herself or complain when she eats a piece of cake etc...she is aiming for healthy not worldly acceptance!

No turning back

4...FOUR...yep 4 more days left of Summer. Oh my! I cannot believe it is over, I am not ready, yet I am. Fall is my favorite but that following it is the worst...I cannot even think about even calling it by name because I despise it, so long and dark and lonely, not to mention COLD. But I wont focus on that I will focus on that right in front of me...the closing, the END of Summer. Welcoming of warm and crisp and smells of apples and spice.

With that said, it is also time for the closing of the garden. I am not a pro and therefore am not going to attempt a Fall garden planting, (wouldn't this be cool though...gardening all year round...hydroponic systems?) we still are awaiting the endless supply of tomatoes forming, some that will not fully ripen or grow to be eaten, but there are still so many and so many buds as well. A few more peppers as well. I need to pull out the deeply rooted, once glorious sunflowers, that have been beheaded by my dog or my kids. I need to learn what to do to prepare my soil for next season, I have heard rumors about coffee grounds...anyone have any advice?

With that said, I still have 50 or so tomatoes in my freezer...I need to cook them down at some point and don't know how??? And advice on that too?